^*^JeSuS mY bUrNiNg CaNdLe^*^

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KumaU cinta Yesus

KumaU cinta Yesus selamanya
KumaU cinta Yesus selamanya
Meskipun bagai selih bergandi dalam hidupku
Ku tetap cinta Yesus selamanya

Ya Abba Bapa ini aku anakMu
Layyankanlah seluru hidupku
Ya Abba Bapa ini aku anakMu
Pakailah sesuai dengan rencanamu

english translation
I will love You Jesus forevermore
I will love You Jesus forevermore
No matter what storms may come, You'll be in my heart
I will love You Jesus forevermore

You're my Father , here is Your child
I will keep You firm in my heart
You're my Father , here is Your child
Fit me in your plans as a glove fits the hand

Alone With A Candlelight

The struggles in my life,
The different hardships I had to face
Brought tears to my eyes,
And hurt to my heart
The friends who were all around me,
Were not as I thought they would be
I felt so unfair,
For they brought no help and brought no care

When I walked home every night,
I'm filled with the burdens of my life
I go to my room,
And only there it seemed like I was
Alone with a candlelight,
That lit the darkness all the way through the night
That sparkling flame that caught my eyes,
Reminded me of Jesus for He is

The greatest Friend I know,
He will never leave me or forsake me
He cares and really shows
How bright His Light can be.
That brightly shines away all my darkness,
My hurts are burnt away
You light a spark in my soul,
And I'm not alone with a candlelight
Anymore

The people in my life,
All my friends I hoped to face
They just had no time and walked far away behind
I realize what a fool I've been to turn to man
And to only find that I'm
Wasting my time,
But still no hope and still no sign

Jesus be that burning candle
That will never ever go out
You light the path ahead,
To walk with the one You made
You lead me and You loved me
And all I want to say is..

Cause Jesus You're my Candlelight,
Evermore.

Finding Acceptance

+Sentimental Perspective

Finding Acceptance- by Theodore Koh

Picture this scenario: You walked into church, knowing nuts about Christ. You walked into the service hall because your friend ask you to, and he sits with other friends and leaves u in a lurch. And no one notices you, no one greets you as you go. And you start to feel lonely....the pastor then asks who wants to accept Jesus Christ...a Savior and God of Love. So much for tt, His people doesn't even show love......

I guess thats pretty......not a good start for new comers. I guess deep down thats why I want to become a Celebration Host; we are not just ushers. We celebrate while hosting, because its God's house, he are hosting in the most happening place on Earth every sat at 2.45pm! I've found the Love of God and I want to share it with others. I understand anyone who feels, brokem, hurt, or unwanted and unnoticed...perhaps i've been in that place many a times....and sadly still is...

I think I'm reminded of past experiences which i don't want to bring it up right now. The feeling of being unnoticed....people in the world turn to all kinds of things to try and solve this problem. I;m sure we all know what most of them are. For me, i turn to friends. Friends (as i said umpteen times) is like a spark that keeps me going on Earth. Thats how i feel about myself.....sometimes, i feel so dependant on them. It then becomes so hard to release them and to move on when i should.....i know its dangerous, but deep down inside....my emotions are so fragile....one wrong move and i might..i dunno....i don;t wish to know.
All i know is that i'm turning to the wrong place of acceptance. But where else can I go?

I constantly forget the One who's been providing me with all these friends that I can lean on. I took it all for granted...sometimes i just hate myself...i know that i shouldn't but....i just feel so stupid and...really downright stupid. The answer to what I need has been waiting patiently outside my heart's door....knocking. I never answered. I open only when i want the things from Him, never the Giver Himself. I just snatch the things He brings me and just close the door. I think Jesus Himself is hurt......

So many times...i really took His blessings for granted. Thats why sometimes i hate myself....i'll never be perfect i know, but.....just simply opening the door to let Jesus come in? And i couldn't do it. If Jesus could hear me right now....i just want to really say sorry to Him...for taking a lot of blessings for granted....for merely forgetting the One who provides....for being so conscious about how others feel, never about He feels. Its times like these when suiciding is blinking and flashing in front of my eye. It goes back to the point...is life really worth living?

Acceptance was right next to me, Unconditionally Love never failed me, Heavenly Compassion never left me....its me who left them behind. When I took those blessings away..i left those 3 important ones in Christ hands. He probably tried so many ways to put them in the other blessings...somehow i probably just didn't take it.....i still left it there. If there was another attribute that I would add to the virtues of Christ, it would be My Acccepter.

Wordly possesions will ultimately disappear. Friends whom I though was so close to me might just go any time...what remains is Jesus Christ Himself. It takes just a few types to type the previous sentence...but its a journey to fully understand it. All along, i should have turned to Him. I all along should have let Him come in. How hurt He must have felt when i close the door right in His face. Yet He stilled showered me with so much love and relentless belief. I don't think i'll ever understand why He chosed to Love me so much despite my constant failure and sins....I'll never in my entire life understand why He did such a thing. But one thing I know..is that He did it because He loved me.

As the year ends...there are people i need to release from my heart. I've held them close for far too long.....i need that freedom. To leave all my burdens at the foot of the Cross once again. To release my loved ones into the Father's Loving hands. Its a new journey...God is waiting to take it all away...if i could just hand it to Him. All He ever wanted to do was to let me experience that everlasting unconditional love, compassion and acceptance, and sadly i never took it. Humans may falter, but My God never fails me...even though i walk thru the valley of the shadow of death, i'll fear no evil for He IS with me..not was...but IS.

Bible verses are springing to life in my mind right now......i'll have to use what i said to others for myself....i..can't die just yet...I've got a vision to realise, dreams to acheive, prophesies to experience, and ultimately, a destiny to fufil. Now's not the time...i have much to do. The year is coming to an end, but not His Love for me. His Love is everlasting....thats all i need. He's waiting to give me that acceptance that i;ve been yearning for since the word "friend" was first said to me. And i'll gladly turn back to Him......and let Him give me that joy and desire i;ve been longing for, for the longest time....its a whole new journey....but at least this is the day that the Lord has made, and i can and WILL rejoice and be glad in it. I've found a reason for living and that acceptance and love i needed....so no looking back for me....do remind mee of this post if i ever feel unwanted again...to all who reads this. To all who read this: u can help start by kindly tagging after the end of this post.

Running With My Best Friend - by Ted

"Running alone was never easy
Until You caught up and ran with me.
Jesus My BEST Friend, lets go together
From this day forth, now and forever
Never again will i run this race, of life and trials
with no one beside me, alone by myself
The road ahead so long and hard
With rocky mountians and winding paths
But with someone like You, I have nothing to fear
For evil will tremble, as long as You're here
I will stumble and fall, this i can say
But I know You're with me, all the way
I'll finish this race, with You hand in Hand
For You'll always be there, Jesus My Best Friend"

~From the heart of Theodore, to the Loving father~

# candlelighTED @ 12:56 AM

Comments:

Hi Ted!

This post really spoke to me. When I accepted Christ a few years ago, one of the issues that i was always struggling with was with acceptance.

I grew up in a typical singaporean chinese family where my parents wouldn't tell me of their love. I grew up facing rejection from the people around me.

Thus, even after I accepted Christ, I couldn't understand why God himself would love someone, so weak and frail like me. I couldn't fathom why He didn't reject me like the people around me did.

I tried looking for acceptance in other places. In relationships, in worldy things. But these never really did satisfy. I ended up with suicidal thoughts instead (am sure you never knew that!). I am glad I never had the guts to put my thoughts into reality. Thank God! =D

And slowly, in these dark moments of my life, God's love began to shine through again. He healed the hurts that were etched in the deepest parts of my heart. He cleaned out the filth inside my heart and filled it with His love.

You are right. Acceptance was always right next to you, Unconditional Love never failed you, Heavenly Compassion never left you. The same way, it never left me.

Now I allow Him to love me, to comfort me, to hold me in His never-failing arms. Now, really, He is the reason why I live, the reason why I even want to go JC for.

Allow Him to love you too. Allow Him to take away ur hurts, ur thoughts that you are ever unwanted.

Remember, as Romans 8:35-39 says, nothing will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

There is a song too, which I really like because it captures God's love for us despite our fallen state. It is "I Come To You" by Bob Fitts.

Listen to it here. =)
"http://torontofaith.com/ezboard/ezboard.cgi?db=praise&action=read&dbf=98&page=1&depth=4"

Here are the lyrics.

(verse)
i'm swept away by the wonder of Your love
How One so great could love this one so small
And when i relize the distance between Your heart and mine
I'm amazed wen You call me to Your side

(Chorus)
I come to You
Not in my own strength
But in weakness
I embrace the One who's strong
I come to You
To glory in your grace
You've accepted me
In my frailty
So in humility
I come to you

(verse2)
I stand in awe at the power of Your grace
How One so great would suffer in my place
And when I realize the difference
Between Your thoughts and mine
I'm amazed when You call me to Your side

(bridge)
I surrender all i am
Lay my heart within Your hand
Knowing in my weakness You are strong

-------

Guard your thoughts too okay? =D
Whenever you have any un-Jesusful thoughts that say you are unwanted, unloved, take it captive. And remember and reflect on the many Bible verses that tells of God's love and the beautiful destiny He has for you! =D

Let your love for God grow and overflow to the people around you. =D Because God himself has loved us unconditionally first.

Will keep you in prayer, Ted!
ps. Remember our lunch date next wed. =P

# posted by

a passerby : 1:48 PM

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Finding Acceptance